unpredictable journal

27 September 2005

Taking a break

Was taking a break from 3hrs of revision. Gina called and told me that, that guy went to tell Pei Ling Jie that she went down to IP to look for him. Sigh... we just curious where is IP located and curious about any shopping mall there or not mah, then also go down there to inform him about the outing nia... diao... think he think too much already bahx...

Sianz... now going to have my dinner... hungry le worx. Anyway, recently appetite not very good nehx... so hardly eat also...

That's about all... going to have my dinner and back for revision. Tomorrow having BFD progress test, wanna do extremely well and not only good worx... Haha...

Sigh... disappointed me so much

I hope I'll luv myself more

17:39

Summary of Sunday - The usu me

Was meeting them for work, none of us was late but I was still the last to arrive. The usu me. Haha... realized something, the aunties there didn't get along well either, sigh... why?

That girl was mention about him to me, saying he like me. And there was once Olivia was sent to IP to help out and he like her too. They also said that he's a big flirties, so how can he be shy right haha...

Accompanied her to somerset and guess what? I saw the wallet that I like very much over there. But too bad, too late already, cuz I had bought one, sigh...

Summary of Monday - Did I really dreamt of him last night?

Wanna wake up at 5.30am to do my AFD qns, but who knows that I went back to sleep again. When it's about 7am, dad was waking me up and yet I told him that my lesson starts in the afternoon. Haha... in the real fact my lesson starts at 8 in the morning worx. But just too tired to get up and go to school, so... sleep till 7.45am and took a hot shower... feel more energetic worx!

Bank Rec used to be my strong topic in accounts, but didn't know why now kinda stumble when doing qns. Maybe is because me this stupid piglet fallen asleep when lecturer is teaching bah. Haha... but nevermind, I believe with enough practice everything gonna be fine. Haha...

Everytime I discoved this --> When friend's are in doubts, I helped them and when I couldn't I call the lecturer for them. But when I'm in doubt, I don't ask... why? Sigh... I shouldn't let this become a habit, so no matter what, I must ask when I'm in doubt. And another thing, lecturer always think that I'm capable in studying alone, that's why, more often that not, they hardly ask me how am I doing. Sigh... am I too sensitive? Oh well, hopefully not...

After lunch, we had our role play rehearse in the project room. Haha... lotta laughters and I guess we had really built a stronger bond! That's great... and that's what I wanna acheive when doing project...

So it was finally over yar? Haha... I know our group didn't do very well for the actual as compared to the rehearse. But Mrs Tan did say that we memorized very well. Haha... except for a few... I think... I'm still quite satisfied with my performance although I forget some lines... heex...

I was so tired that I fallen asleep before 8pm on the sofa. Haha... then went inside the room to sleep. Don't know why, feel so warm and was like showing da xiao jie attitude? Haha... I know my second kor shouted at me, but too tired to quarrel with him le. Wanna go to dad's room to sleep but he was doing something, so went back to my room. And he switched the air con for me worx. Actually my dad's a very nice daddy but just that he like to disturb me so much that makes me detest him. Same with mom too... haix... and I guess is time to do a reflection le...

Before I went back to sleep did I say something like this --> If he really likes me, I'm willing to give him a chance? But if he's still not going to take any action then why bother so much?

Not long after that, I dreamt of him, he came to my house here with Kelly. Kelly told me that he went down to look for her and get my hp no and after which she brought him to e prime market near my house. And I was looking so stun when I saw him. Then accompanied kelly to the bus stop but he didn't follow. So I turn back my head and said: "Looking for me? If yes, then wait for me to come back bahx..." after which, Kelly was like nuts arh? Fooling me round and round till I get dizzy and woke up. Haha... Weird dream right? Haha...

Today - Self declare holiday

That second kor arh... just now when I was typing my blog, he asked me to lend it to him for a while, then I say okay. I was like having a strong guts that my entry will be gone, and I told him. He say won't one. Haha... I was like clever arh? Saved my entry, otherwise... it really will be gone, cuz he closed all the windows. Haha...

Today, Mr Cheo is not there so no lesson all the way till 3pm... OFA lesson. But doubt I'm going lol, very sianz... all the way travel till there just to attend 2hours lesson. So... stay at home and do revision bah... that's about all.

I hope I'll luv myself more

09:32

24 September 2005

Is back agian!

Hey, good news here. The money I spent yesterday is gonna be back again! Cuz today Brian phoned me at 8.34am but was still sleeping until 10 plus near 11am then I called him back. Hm... called me to work out of the blue, so I went down with Nana at 1pm and earn 34 bucks for the day. Hm... tomorrow still working too, so gonna be very tiring.

Sigh, wondering what's wrong with him didn't reply my sms. I mean replied the first one only, like that how am I going to do my question 9 and 10?

He also another one, was seeking for his permission yet he refused to reply. Then well, very good, I'll skip his lesson then, I don't fancy that attendance lor!

And that guy, also didn't know why he bother to help his coach when he himself is not free to. Sianz... then asked me to book the badmintion court for him, and I did but booked the wrong CC one. Sianz.... my fault again.

Sianz arh... planning for outing...heex...

Monday is the day that I look forward to, cuz is end of project stuffs. Like this, then I can concentrate on doing revision lol. Haix... exam in 3 wks time...

That's about all.

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:57

23 September 2005

If you don't like me just say it infront of my face!

Shit... just now typed such a long entry yet everything's gone. Sigh, now just going to summarise part of it only.

Went down to look for him, found him and walked pass the outlet but he didn't saw us. Haha... so we went up to have our lunch, but who knows that there isn't any seat available, so went to buy one can of drink and we're full le.

Then went shopping until about going back then we went back to look for him again. But he still didn't saw us and so I called him. Haha... chatted a while and discovered something, he don't dare to look at me when talking, also don't know why but was answering my questions lol. No bike but have licence in M'sia. Haha... maybe YY is right that he's shy? But afterall, to me he's a big flirties nehx... how can a flirties be shy right? Haha... maybe he like Nana bah... haha... keep smiling and looking at her when talk, wow so jealous sia... kidding nah! Haha... lame right? Left handed guy... looks cool when serious and looks great when smiling... his alluring smile adores me so much...

Haix... at home no ones like me sia... me like a big princess like that, everone detest me so much. Sigh... how I wish I can move to east side of Singapore lor... near my campus and his house mah, so can hang out often. Haha... kidding again... kiddish? Haha...

Today went shopping spent $121.20 worx! Haha... and lent Gina $56.60. Grand total will be 177.80... haha... that's a lot sia! Haha... but don't worry, this Sunday going to work, so shouldn't be too much a problem. That's about all...

Jialin, study hard for exam worx and get a schorlarship hor?

That's about all, going to sleep le...

Oh yah, just to add, we went to look for Xiu Zhi they all and she was chatting with Gina while I miss out. I think Gina was asking what's that guy name, tong or pong? And I heard pong, so I asked them who they're referring to and Gina told me that IP guy and Xiu Zhi said: "Neh... that guy who always wanna go back with you". Haha... how I wish to hang out with a bunch of guys till dawn arh...

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:19

22 September 2005

Vacation coming

Sigh, so tired just got back home even though I left the campus at 12pm. Haha... accompany my good buddy, Kelly to do rebonding again till 3pm she accompained me to JP to return my uniform.

Told her that I'm planning to have a pizza gathering during our vacation, haha... calling malene, agnes, kelvin, gina, pei ling jie, him and us. Haha... no intention... just wanna to make more friends nia.

Haven't been practicing cello for month le, sianz... how? Intend to give up le... haiz... because of this, I given up on lotta things haix... sianz...

Guess that's about all for now bah...

I hope I'll luv myself more

18:26

20 September 2005

He ish back n I'm sad bt thinking of him...

Oh dear, my second brother arrived Singapore! Shit man... thought he'll only be back on this weekends... sigh... well tomorrow's his birthday, so advance birthday wish: Happy 20th Birthday Kor!

His arrive, I'm sad but thinking of ** makes me happy oni... hopefully I'm free one day to go down and find him. Bleah... haha...

Exam's coming in one month time. Tomorrow gonna present my OFA project... sianz... wish me all the best worx...

Tomorrow going to bugis, hopefully can hunt for a suitable bag. Don't know when then can go IP... heex...

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:11

19 September 2005

Nice chap

Found out his name already but sound very alwful so not going to mention his name over here. Haha... also discovered that he's the in-charge of BS at IP! Power sia! Wondering he owns any bike or not haha...

Well, I'm not thinking of anything but just find that he's the type of friend who's very on going and also has the similar interest as me... the common interest that I found on both of us is P I E R C I N G! Haha... and maybe love the lifestyle of hanging out at PUB eyeing on yan dao and chio bu... haha... we can go together mah... right?

Haix... how I wish I've his number... so one day can hang out together sia... but well I think if fate to be meet up again, we'll sure be meeting up somewhere in some other day...

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:44

18 September 2005

On cloud night

Today good girl worx, reach workplace 10 minutes early, so went up to pierce my ear, cool! Thought that I could become deaf after the third pierce on the same place. But lucky, didn't.

Hm, then went down to work and was looking for him. Looking inside of the shop, he's not there so I thought he's not working today. After awhile, he appear, giving me that wink and the wicked smile which makes me feels so disgusting... cuz he's trying to act cute... haha...

Then was telling me that he's going back and then of course I pretend and say: "A, I thought today you're not working" and I forgotten what he replied with.

Was wanting to cut the samples and he and the aunties was looking at me. Haha... then he commented: "Wow, so good arh... have you ever consider to work as staff?" Then I replied back nope... [Cuz I work before and don't think that I can commit myself to the job]. Then keep on saying that no more chance to see me le, then me at there laughing. Then one thing surprised me was what he said: "Do I have a chance to date you out for a drink?" Haha... me laughing again. Again, questioning me like a prisoner... where am I schooling and staying at where... haha... nuts arh him.. when tell him that I'm schooling at simei he was like so shocked arh, mouth opened till so wide... haha... add in with a smile saying that we'd meet up often since he's staying at bedok. Haha... me laughing again... can't help.

Haix... giving me such a impressive memory arh... haha... asking my daughter some personal questions about me sia, wack you arh... don't ever ever let me see you again worx... hope to become friend... what a good looking guy... and I guess I need someone to take care too... but too bad... haha...

No wonder keep praising me and helping me out yesterday sia... haha...

So happy sey...

Haha... in love is good but it can be very vexed and tiring as well.

I'm missing you everytime I overslept... how I wish there would be someone to wake me up every morning...

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:32

14 September 2005

Missing OFA lesson again

This morning didn't wake up late but I went to have a hot shower, so turn up late for lesson, so might as well don't go right? Haha... or else she's going to nag at me.

Did extremely badly for my AFD progress test on Monday, yesterday the took back the test paper and was so stunned that I only scored 93%, goosh... two FAT careless mistakes which makes me feel like banging on the wall. Sigh... anyway, here to praise our AFD lecturer who has set the challenging paper for us! Love it man!

Yesterday went work, sigh... kinda misforture. She was like so arrogant and I really detest her so much, it's just like oh my god man! How can B.S employ this kind of staff who ask the customer to wait? My goodness... action "babe"!

I hope I'll luv myself more

07:50

11 September 2005

Stressed out

Projects really drives me nut, my head is cracking soon. Conflicts and quarrels always occurs and still reflection is required from us. Project really builds a stronger bond of friendship? Goosh, I doubt so... but that's a lie that I wrote in my BFD individual reflection. No ones is arguing with me ever since the first day of work. But she just can't see others being said by me, but this is ME! No ones is gonna change my attitude of wanting everything perfectly done. But how are we going to do it perfectly when last minute work is involved? Sigh... they're always like this, just like can't be really bother. Haix...

Now another project gonna be hand up by this coming Friday. I've added all the information in, but still need to do work plan, allocation of duties and individual reflection. Sigh... that's the main reason why I given up my favourite elective, Banking and Finance Service and take up Taxation (No project, and only 2 class tests).

Work and cello practices I've to give up, everyday rushing for projects. Haix... I'm struggling so hard and hang on there as long as I could, but it seems like my determination is gonna gone. Feeling weaker and weaker, stressing out so easily nowadays. Exam coming soon and left about a month to go and yet I haven't got any time for revision. Tomorrow there's another progress test, though is not recorded, but I wanna treat it as a real test and do well in it, possibility to score full mark if there is enough of practices.

Sigh... gonna have a bath and start off with my revision.

I hope I'll luv myself more

16:22

07 September 2005

Some updates

Yesterday was so tiring for me, I left the class at around 5.15pm and there're still many people inside. Sigh, guess the coming CA2 on Excel, gonna do very badly for it. Cuz so many things I don't know how to do. Sigh, shouldn't have skipped lesson yar?

After which went back home had my dinner before heading to SY practice. Reached there around 8pm, wa biang, they're practicing exercise pieces, didn't bring my book. Hm, Percie and Ryan performed of their individual exercise piece. When Ryan's played I was like stunned yar? He really improved a lot even till now, well... how I wish I could be like him. Power! Haha... Percie played a grade 5 piece, very soothing... a pleasant tone.

Oh ya, today suppose to have lessons, but one lecturer on MC and two lecturers on course, so no lecturer for us, so holiday lol... haha... advantage of being a ITE student... bleahx...

Haix... going to do my revision already, take care.

By the way, when am I going to pass the OFA project for Hau? Sigh... haven't finish doing nehx.

I hope I'll luv myself more

09:19

05 September 2005

In fouls mood

This morning was feeling feverish but wasn't running fever, I guess. Head was so pain since morning and mood wasn't good when I head for practice this evening.

Something that I wan say over here and I don't care who you're who happen to read this entry and was kinda offend, if you're, then that's your business cuz afterall this is a journal of mine...

I lent you the schedule and also the notes and you should also know that I'm doing control account now and you should just get it photocopied out as soon as possible if not, just copy it out somewhere first if you're really that busy. You've no sense of responsibility and also lack of initiative as well as motivation. You're really being spoon feed and pamper too much. Ms Lam announced that the new schedule for SY practice is available in the SYCO room and this is just what you need since you didn't receive the schedule that they mailed to you. So you should get it yourself from the SY room! And not everything also say don't know, and that's what I mean you lack of responsibility. No point apologising, no point saying sorry, is already past and I hope you learn from it and be more initiative [Just like I helped you people to take the new schedule w/o you people to ask me to help. When you wanna help, you help w/o ppl pleasing you. Help it with willingness and not in a manner of unwillingness].

Juniors disappoint me again and again. I also don't whats so difficult to hand in their theory on time. I've given them the sufficient time but why they keep on delaying? Forget? Why didn't ever heard them say that they forgotten to have their lunch? Why? Well, whoever who don't wish me to help you out for theory, that's perfectly fine with me. From now onwards, anyone who hands in late, I'll not mark, or even look through the next time you handed it in. I spent so much time on them yet none of them seems appreciated, sigh...

I'm tired, I got to work as part-timer, have to attend SY practices, have to attend school. I'll never ever have a time to rest, is just so tiring. And people with low blood pressure usually needs plenty of rest and maybe this might be one reason that stopping me to participate in SY next year. Well, I hope from now on to end of Dec, there'll be something that strike me again and motivate me again to practice hard for cello. In fact, I really wish to, but do I have the time?

Sigh...

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:13

04 September 2005

Do you know what's the hardest money to earn?

My goodness!!! I typed so long the entry and it just gone bcuz of my accidentally finger hitted the backspace key. Shit... not going to type any more le.

But the answer to the question is: Sitting down at the office looking at people entering in and out of the room, rocking the chair and waiting to become rock!

Haix...

I hope I'll luv myself more

12:02

02 September 2005

Wake up at 10am and went to practice 3hrs of cello, of course in between there's a break. Wanna do project but mom asked me to blend the garlic, so sianz arh? Later still have to work at 5pm.

Couldn't go for practice for saturday and sunday cuz gotta wk from 8-5pm, the data entry job. Also good, better than working as promoter and still have to stand for hours and the money was like so hard to earn yar? And also will be reaching by home at around evening and I have time to prepare for my progress test on Monday as well as practicing cello. So...

Hm... that's about all for now, going to blend the garlic le, if not mom gonna nag nag nag.

I hope I'll luv myself more

13:14

What's the matter with me this evening? When second brother was complaining someone uses the controller to switch off his tv when he has fallen asleep from watching VCD this afternoon. I was so afraid that he gonna blame mom's for it, so I quickly asked sis to switch it back as she told me before. But everything also ask me to wait, I was like sigh... and commented everything also wanna wait in a very rude manner and she talked back.

Well, I admit it was my fault but is true everything also wanna wait. All she cares is her handphone and I really feel like dumping her handphone into the dustbin. Hate her and detest her so much, even handphone is more important than her daughter, just felt utterly disappointed.

Quarrel kors and sis, know why? Both bros are just useless everytime touch those things, and sis everything also wait, wait, wait. And me attitude problem, couldn't get along well with them, especially sister and second kor. Sianz... Talk to the two bro all blur cock, and see his key is just right beside the computer yet he say he couldn't find, really feel like slapping him to wake up. Elder kor better still, at least didn't come and disturb or didn't gives much attitude problem, also he's more blur than him. Well, whatever gonna happen to them, is really none of my business. And don't ever wish that I'll go and visit them, wishful thoughts, especially the one that haven't learn his lesson.

Don't always think that I'm against you or what, I didn't. I treated you this way is all thanks to what you've created for yourself. And please don't implicate mom's in it, pls!

And mom, just couldn't stand her. This afternoon actually i wanna stay at home to do revision for the coming progress test but she dragged me out to old jurong west. And nothing much, just had our dinner and went back home le, is like so boring. Haix... didn't practice cello again. I hope I wasn't taking the advantage of him. So tomorrow gonna be a tiring day for me yar, haha... gotta wk in the evening, so morning and noon will be doing revision, homework and also practice cello, die die also must practice tomorrow.

I hope I'll luv myself more

00:27

01 September 2005

Superstar, so Kelvin is the winner for tonight. Well, just to be frank, both of their performance are very outstanding. The first stage, both of them, I doubt they started off well, cuz I couldn't hear their voice at all. But was rather okay and I think Weilian did better for this round. Stage 2, obviously Weilian did better yar? Haha... stage 3, I can't remember what was it about. Was it Weilian that did better? Haha... stage 4, to me both was quite good. But the lyric of Liao Jie that weilian sang is more touching, and Kelly's has shown her powerful stage performance which I enjoy very much. But I really nearly cried when Wei Lian sang Liao Jie... all thanks to Li Fei Hui and Shui Shang Piao... The last stage, Weilian nearly cried, his eyes were so watery and I totally can understand how he's feeling. More emotional type.

I really wish that there gonna be 2 winner, and they are namely Wei Lian and Kelly. But to me, the one that adores me the most is Sin Huey, loves the way she sings. Wei Lian, I think he gotta work harder and be more confidence, must be able to take up the stress and determination is very important. Kelly wise, really surprised me when I saw her stage performance, was like a brand new Kelly yar? Haha... bravo... keep on Jiayou too...

Junyang... I don't think I need to say much, he has a super good looking look and also a very nice voice he has got. Quite a lot of supporter too, right? Haha... and I believe he'll continue to be popular as long as he doesn't quit from being a singer, jiayou le.

The one that make me feel very sad for her is Sin Huey. To me yes, superstar you need to look good/pleasant, a very nice voice, and also the way you dress and your stage performance are very very very super important. Well, but being a singer, as long as you've got a very nice voice, a pleasant look that will be enough, unless you're going to perform in indoor stadium, then stage performance is very important. But I think they're just going to publish their album, so I really hope that one day I'm able to buy Sin Huey's album and music company will take note about her beautiful and touching singing too, a very potential girl, don't neglect her.

I'm not like other fans, they have their special singer in their heart and only 1. I'm different, to me I judge and support the one I like based on their performance and not who they're. BUt I gotta admit, grand final I was in two minds before I do the voting. Haha... but Weilian really touches me so so so much and I voted for him, just 1 vote. Haha... Well, Chanel, Silver, Jason and Derrick sang very well too. Jia you le... to me all the contestant are superstar!

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:51